Christmas Eve Understanding Bah Humbug

Wow went to church with my 80 Plus Aunt

. looked around at all the “happy families” . Received many good to see you happy smiling faces wishing good cheer. I gave it back pretending i am enjoying life and being grateful and happy for what i have. but really inside i am lonely, angry not being able to be who i feel i should be. i pretend to love a wife who could care less if i am alive. after 40 plus years of giving to her serving her. but she knows what i need and desire and yet she could care less about me. My children love me but if they saw me dress and be who i want they would disown me. i wish  could be happy being who my family wants me to be but alas i suck it in and say Merry  Christmas. and inside i say bah humbug to you cuz if you truly loved me you would let me be me.

Thanks to those who care and from my heart MERRY CHRISTMAS

and to everyone else who wants me to me Mr Right Mr. America Bah Humbug.

i just want to be Mary and have a Merry Christmas

sindee all finished ranting

 

 

 

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